me, myself and I

12:55 am - been a while

sorry i havent written for a while - been hospitalised for meningitis and only managed to come out yesterday.
however really upset as i found out nurses were putting stuff in my food to make me gain weight ans i have gained a stone in 2 weeks :( 
so today i have started to cut down big time and have had 700cals today - tomorrow it will be 600 and each day lose 100.
cant wait to see weright drop off this fat, horrible body.

write again soon
xxxxxx

06:52 pm - failure ALREADY

im sorry guys

i have failed again - i just canty seem to stop myslef.

i swim loads and i thought if i swim then i wont want to put the cals back on.

but i end up scoffing.

will try harder.

MUST try harder

11:30 pm - day one

bad fat me.
im stupid.i couldnt even manage 350 cals - i had to go to 500 at least - i swear its more.
tomorrow im starting on a fast - nothing but black coffee and water.
i cant keep eating like this. i hate me more than ever.its disgusting.

01:43 am - new journal - new start

hi guys
this is my first post on here and im using it as a new start.
i need to lose about 40pounds because i am a fat pig.
so i thought if i did it online where everyone can see how good/bad im doing it will hopefully motivate me to do better.
i am currently bulimic - so i am going to try a fruit and veg diet of a max of 4350 cals a day.
i need to do this as i dont want to be huge forever. i want to be like my idols - vic beckham,lily cole, nicole ritchie etc.
please if anyone wants to pledge some support or urge me to do this i will be very greateful.
much luv xxxx